Resolved to Make Her Mine Read online

  I gave her instructions on how to doctor my coffee correctly, and then paid for the meal.

  Liam grabbed both boxes, leaving me to juggle the drinks as he made a beeline for the door.

  “Will you come up and have breakfast with us? I’m sure Mom could make extra eggs.” He was practically bouncing up the street.

  “I don’t know if your mom’s going to be as happy to see me.” I sighed, thinking about Maze as a mother, cooking breakfast for her family. “What about your dad?” The question was out of my mouth before I had time to really think about it.

  He shrugged. “Don’t got one.” He tilted his head at me. “You know, you kinda look like the guy from Mom’s picture… the one she thinks I don’t know about.”

  I smirked. Maze had a picture of me. The new question on my mind was: was it a picture from now, as Sean the rock star? Or Sean her ex-boyfriend?

  4

  Maisie

  It took everything I had not to follow Liam as he walked down the street to Cherry Blossoms. I’d let him make the trip a dozen times before, but this was the first time someone joined him.

  Someone who looked suspiciously like Sean in a baseball cap.

  What the hell was his problem? Why was he hanging around, talking to my kid, acting like he belonged here?

  He left.

  He took off, became a rock star, and probably never thought about the people he left behind.

  It would’ve been so much easier if I could’ve just forgotten about him, like he forgot about me.

  But Sean hadn’t been left with a permanent reminder. That was on me too. I made the choice not to doom Sean’s career and leave him resenting me and Liam for ruining his dreams.

  The sound of Liam’s keys in the door pulled me from my thoughts, and I plated up the scrambled eggs and bacon I’d been cooking.

  “Mom, I brought a friend for breakfast.” I heard the thud of his shoes hitting the ground and then the rapid thumps of him running back to his room.

  I turned, and almost dropped the plate in my hand.

  “Sean.” I had no doubt he could hear the surprise in my voice.

  And the jerk had the audacity to smirk as he shrugged out of his dark grey wool coat. “Hey, Maze. We got you a pecan roll.”

  No. He couldn’t refer to him and Liam as a we. He left. He didn’t have any right. “What are you doing here?”

  “Breakfast. And I wanted to talk to you about something.”

  Shit. He knew.

  But he couldn’t know.

  “I guess I’d better make some more eggs.” I set the plates down on the table before adding, “Shoes off. I don’t want you tracking winter in here.”

  I wanted to send him away. To kick him out and never see him again. But then I’d just have to explain to Liam why I didn’t want Sean around.

  I didn’t have to like it though, either.

  “Maze, I know it’s been a while, but I still know when you’re pissed at me.” Sean’s voice was right behind me, too close, too familiar. “I can make excuses and leave, if you don’t want me here.”

  “Don’t be silly. You’re Liam’s guest. How do you like your eggs?” I turned, smiling, but the grin faltered as I realized just how close he was. Close enough that he could’ve pinned me against the counter and kissed me.

  That was not what I needed, and I certainly didn’t want it.

  “However, you want to make them.” His hands came up to rest on the counter on either side of my hips. “I missed you, Maze.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure you did. That’s why I haven’t heard from you or seen you in ten years.” I rolled my eyes and nudged him back away from me. “Just don’t hurt my kid, okay? You want to come back into my life, fine. I can handle you. But I’m not letting your leaving again crush Liam.”

  “Is that what Liam’s father did? Is that why he’s not here?”

  “Don’t act like you know what’s going on here, Sean. Liam’s well taken care of. He’s loved. That’s all that matters.”

  “One more question, and I’ll drop it. Why is he named after my grandfather?”

  I sighed. “Liam was good to me. When not many people in this town were. It’s not a big deal. Don’t read anything into it.” I grabbed a clean skillet and the carton of eggs. “Last chance to choose how you want your eggs cooked.” I hoped he’d get the hint and let it drop.

  “Scrambled is fine. But I can do it. You don’t have to cook for me.”

  “You’re a guest in my home.” I set the pan on the stove and shook my head at him. “Take the eggs that are already on the table, with Liam’s. No reason for food to get cold.”

  I stepped down the hall, scowling as I heard the all too familiar tap-tap-tap of eggs being cracked on the counter. Sean never was very good at letting me do things for him; it seemed like not much had changed.

  “Liam, come eat before the eggs get cold.”

  He came tearing out of his room like the energetic nine-year-old he was, a grin on his face as he slid across the hardwood floors toward the table. “I had to change my socks, Mom.”

  Shaking my head, I followed him back to the kitchen.

  Damn it, Sean looked good at my stove.

  At home. Comfortable, in his socked feet. Like he belonged.

  Liam shoveled his eggs and bacon into his mouth quickly, talking about anything and everything with Sean between bites.

  Why did it have to be so hard, watching the two of them together?

  “Mom, can I eat my donuts in my room?”

  “If you make sure to drink the milk too.” I set his donuts on a plate and handed them over with a couple extra napkins. “Don’t spend all morning playing video games. Try reading a book for a while.”

  “Okay.” He grinned at Sean. “I got an extra controller, if you want to play too.”

  “Maybe in a little while. I’m going to help your mom with the dishes.” Sean got up and started stacking the plates.

  Liam watched him for a moment, and then looked at me, like this was somehow my doing. Like I’d tricked Sean into doing chores. Then he ran off to his room, as if he was afraid I was going to make him help too.

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “You didn’t have to let me stay for breakfast either.” Sean shrugged. “Besides, it seems like the easiest way to for you to let me stick around and talk for a while.”

  “You said you wanted to discuss something?”

  He leaned against the counter, looking every bit the casual rock star. “Yeah. About your job, actually.”

  “If you’re going to judge or make bullshit claims that a woman can’t tattoo as well as a man can, you can get out of my kitchen.”

  “Whoa, killer, ease off.” He held his hands up in a surrender gesture. “I’m sorry for my gender if that’s the kind of bullshit you’ve been struggling against.”

  I let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry. I guess I get a little defensive.”

  He nodded. “It sounds like you’ve had to defend your art and abilities a lot in the past. I really am sorry. That sucks.”

  “What were you going to ask?”

  “I was going to ask if you’d have time in the next couple of weeks to design a piece for me.” He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. “But if you think I should find a guy at your shop to do it…” Smug bastard smirked.

  I relaxed a little. “First of all, Inked Goddess is all women artists, so you’re not going to find a guy.” I smirked playfully. “Do you really think that’s such a good idea? What if I mangle that rock star body of yours?”

  “Come on, Maze. I’ve always trusted you with my body.”

  God, why did he have to sound like he was offering to let me do so much more than just a tattoo? It was hard enough to avoid his voice when half the radio stations played Heroes to the Moon several times a day. Songs that just reminded me of the things Sean used to say to me, when I thought we’d take on the world together.

  “Besides, I looked over your portf
olio. Your art is incredible. You’ve clearly got an eye for how to make design flow on the contours of a person’s body. Even if I didn’t know who you were, I’d want your ink on me.”

  I stared at him, trying to decide if he was bullshitting me. On the one hand, having my art on a guy like Sean could propel my career in ways I couldn’t begin to fathom. I could start my own shop or bring in bigger clientele. But if he hated it, or refused to even let me ink him, it could be even more devastating.

  Either way, it would mean spending more time in the next two weeks thinking about, talking to, drawing for Sean Cavanaugh than I’d done in the last ten years.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay? Really?”

  “I’ll consult. We’ll talk about what you’re thinking, and if I think I can do it, and make you happy, I’ll tattoo you.”

  He grinned, and I immediately regretting saying yes.

  5

  Sean

  I couldn’t believe she said yes. I’d planned all sort of bribery and groveling and in the end, I would challenge her, and she wouldn’t be able to say no.

  We spent the next few days hashing out the design for a shoulder cap piece, something that would wrap from my back, over my shoulder, and down onto my chest. Disappointingly, she remained professional and on topic. She’d always been good at keeping me on task.

  Every minute I spent with her, the more I wanted to see of her. And not just in coffee shops and her tattoo parlor. She hadn’t changed much. She was protective of Liam, but she was the same old Maze.

  “Go to dinner with me tonight.”

  Maze’s gaze snapped to mine and she shook her head. “No.” She set her sketchpad aside. “I think we’re ready to start inking tomorrow. How long have you sat for before?”

  “I can take anything that you can dish out at me.” I grinned. “Come to dinner. Bring Liam. We could go out to celebrate finishing the design.”

  “Sean, I’m not going through this with you again. We had our shot. Sooner or later, you’re going to go back to your life in L.A., forget all about me all over again, and I’m going to be stuck trying to explain to my son why you’re gone, and why you’re not coming back.”

  I got up and moved closer to her. “Maisie, I never forgot about you.”

  “Then why didn’t you ever come back? Why didn’t you call? Or write? Or reach out on social media? Ten years, Sean.” Her expression hardened, and I recognized the look, it was the same one she got when she was being momma bear over Liam. “You left.”

  She’d been holding back on me. The hot and cold routine had been driving me crazy, but I knew I deserved it. I deserved a lot more and I would take every ounce of it.

  “We were both getting out, Maze. I honestly didn’t expect you to still be here.” It was more than that. I didn’t want to hold her back. I had no idea my success would be so rampant, let alone possible. And by the time it all blew up, I wasn’t even sure how to deal with it. I tried to focus on the music, but she was in all of it. She was everywhere. I didn’t know why I was such an idiot and didn’t reach out, except I knew for sure I didn’t want to meet the guy she’d inevitably replaced me with.

  In fact, why hadn’t she replaced me with anyone?

  “Yeah, well, things changed.” She sighed and fiddled with her pencil. “But I’ve made a good life here. One that doesn’t need you in it.”

  Things. Meaning Liam.

  Oh, God. I was such a moron. While I’d been living my dreams, she’d been shackled to practicality. And I missed every single second.

  “He’s mine, isn’t he?” My voice was quiet.

  Her eyes widened with panic. “Liam is mine. Just mine.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “You didn’t know about him before. You’re going to forget about him once you’re gone.”

  I stood up and looked out the window. “I get why you didn’t tell me. I do. But why didn’t you tell me?” I choked on the emotion clogging my throat.

  I missed every single second. I’d missed her finding out. She must’ve been so upset. I could’ve held her and told her that everything was going to be okay. But I would’ve freaked out. I would’ve questioned her fidelity by asking if it was even mine, because that’s what assholes did. And I was the biggest asshole in the world. I’d left thinking I was being selfless by leaving her to her life, but I’d made her question my love of her. The love I would have for our son. My son. But I did love him. He was a great kid. Probably better that I wasn’t in his life.

  “I told everyone it wasn’t yours. Liam was the only one who didn’t believe me. And I told him the truth. He wanted me to tell you, but he respected my decision not to, or at least he stopped badgering me about it. I probably lost his respect not telling you. I just didn’t know how to tell you. And I didn’t know what would be worse, you telling me to go to hell or you sacrificing everything to come back to me, to us.” She wrapped her arms around herself, swiping the tears away as they fell. “I didn’t want to be someone you would eventually end up hating.”

  I pulled her into my arms. Maze shoved me back hard. Her dark eyes filled with tears. “Maze, I didn’t know. And I don’t know what I would’ve done. I’d like to think I wouldn’t have been an asshole, but I just don’t think that’s true.” I tried to pull her into my arms again, this time she relented, and I hugged her to my chest. “But I didn’t forget you. And I won’t forget you or Liam ever. It’s impossible.” I rubbed her back, holding onto her as she stayed tense.

  I held her until I felt her tension turn into silent sobs, her shoulders shaking as she let it out. More guilt rotted in my gut as I comforted her. She’d gone through all this alone. I’d give anything to go back in time and not miss a single second, but it was impossible. Just like Maisie’s decision.

  I held her until she sagged against me, all her tension exhausted.

  “Sean, I can’t go through that again. If you’re going to say shit like that to me, if you’re going to be nice to me, you have to mean it. You can’t just disappear on me again.”

  I leaned back, just enough to look at her face to face. “Maze, I never should’ve left you in the first place.”

  She opened her mouth like she wanted to ask me something, but she snapped it closed and held my gaze.

  Maisie didn’t pull away from me. Instead, she licked her lips and looked almost like she wanted to kiss me.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “We can go to dinner. But Liam’s at my parents’ house all night, so it’s going to just be you and me.”

  Now that, I could get behind. A date with Maze? Just her and me. “Give me an hour. I’ll pick you up at your place.”

  “We’re not done yet.” She picked up her sketchpad again. “We have to see how this fits on your skin. Take your shirt off.”

  I smirked. “You enjoy demanding that of me, don’t you?”

  “Shut up.” She smiled a little and her cheeks flushed.

  She printed out the sketch on the stencil machine in pieces, and then came over to apply it. She kept her expression neutral and her hands remained frustratingly professional.

  Maze worked slowly, diligently, until she had my whole shoulder cap covered. “You’re sure you want to do this?”

  I looked at her, my heart racing as her fingers gently traced the swooping lines of the tattoo. And of my body. The depths of emotions in her eyes burned through to my soul.

  “The tattoo?”

  She nodded, but I got the feeling she meant so much more than that. “It’s going to take at least a couple sittings to complete. I don’t even know how long you’re in town for.”

  “I’m not sure yet.” I couldn’t exactly tell her that my bandmates were on hiatus until I got my head out of my ass and stopped being a dick. That wouldn’t get me any closer to repairing the damage I’d done. “But I can always come back. Or I can fly you to me.”

  She shrugged. “I need a schedule, Sean. I can’t just drop everything because a rock star wants ink.”
She glanced at the framed photo of her and Liam. “I have responsibilities here.”

  “I know. We’ll figure it out.”

  Even though I had no idea how I was going to make that happen. I still hadn’t wrapped my head around the fact that I had a son. What the hell did that mean? The kid had no idea who I was either. He simply thought he didn’t have a father. That didn’t set well with me.

  Nothing seemed right, except that she was going to go on a date with me. Maybe more would make sense after that.

  Once Maisie had applied and reapplied the stencils a few times, getting them in just the right size and position, she handed me a mirror and pointed me down the hall. “Take your time. Let me know what you think.”

  It was incredible. More than I could’ve possibly expected, and it wasn’t even permanently on my skin.

  “Maze, it’s…” I turned to find her leaning against the doorway to her booth, smirking at me. Admiring me, even. “It’s perfect.”

  She licked her lips, her eyes dropping down to my chest, before she shook her head and smiled. “Okay. I’ll make note of the size I used, we’ll take a few pictures so I can repeat this placement tomorrow, and you can put your shirt back on.”

  I walked back into her booth and let her take several photos of my shoulder and back before I took her hands and pulled her in close. “You can tell me no, but I really want to kiss you right now.”

  Maisie’s eyes grew wide before she shook her head and took a couple steps back away from me. “No.” I was sure that would be the end of it.

  But then she added, “Not here.”

  6

  Maisie

  What the hell was I thinking?

  It was hard enough keeping my professionalism with Sean as I planned out his tattoo. As I made him take his shirt off time and time again, so that I could get just the right contours and lines for the piece.

  But now, I was dressed in a black, skin-tight wiggle dress and heels, with my pink hair curled in waves, and more make-up than I’d put on for any date in probably ten years.