Resolved to Make Her Mine Read online

  Why was I putting so much effort into this? Why did I care?

  It was Sean.

  The knock on my door tore my gaze from the full-length mirror and I grabbed my jacket, shrugging it on to cover my tattooed arms and add a layer of warmth.

  “Damn, Maze.” He smiled as he stepped into the apartment, looking like a lion circling his prey. “You look so fucking sexy.”

  I swallowed hard. “Shouldn’t we be going to dinner?”

  He slid his hand around my waist, invading my open coat, to pull me against him. “After this.”

  Oh, God, he was going to kiss me was all I could think before his mouth descended on mine.

  His lips brushed against mine, sending a familiar jolt through my body as all the feelings, the emotions, the memories of what we once were came flooding back in a rush. Sean Cavanaugh, my first love. The father of my child. The man every other date had been compared to, on some subconscious level.

  I dropped my purse as my hands slid up to tangle in the hair at the base of his neck, pulling him closer as his tongue slicked over my lower lip in a demanding move, pressing against my mouth. I opened my lips, letting his tongue slide against mine in a hungry, needy way that made my pussy clench and my body ache.

  But just like that, he pulled back, taking a couple steps away to put distance between us. “Maze…”

  For one night, I didn’t want to be the heartbroken, single, exhausted mom. I wanted to be Maze and be in his arms. I wanted to recapture whatever spark remained between us. There was every chance I’d end up heartbroken at the end of all of this, but I didn’t care. Not right now.

  “Dinner can wait.” I swallowed hard as I shrugged out of my coat, letting the heavy winter garment fall to the floor. I’d been fighting against this since the moment I saw him in the hospital, and I was tired of ignoring what I wanted. Especially knowing Liam was gone for the night.

  “What are you suggesting?” He looked at me, that same fiery, smoldering heat burning in his eyes that had been there every time we’d fucked as teens.

  “I’m suggesting you make up for lost time, Sean.” I reached back and found the pull-tab to my zipper, sliding it down slowly until I could let the dress pool at my feet.

  Thank god I’d gone for the simple, matching black bra and panties.

  Sean growled. He actually growled as he pulled me back into his arms, his hands landing on my ass as he kissed me again, needier this time. His kiss wasn’t patient and sensual this time, it was hard and hungry. And I wanted more.

  I could feel his hard, thick cock through his dress pants, pressing against my thigh as his mouth claimed mine.

  “Bedroom. Now.” The husky moan barely sounded like the words I intended, but it was clear enough, as Sean picked me up, pulling my legs around his waist, and clumsily carried me down the hall, stopping to kiss me and caress every inch of me as he went.

  My heels clattered to the floor somewhere along the way, and just before we got into my bedroom, he pressed me up against the wall and kissed me again. I didn’t even care if we made it to the bed.

  I could feel every inch of him molding against me, but it wasn’t enough. There were too many clothes. I needed to feel him inside me again.

  Sean carried me into my room, set me on the bed, and I slipped from his arms so that I could watch him undress.

  It was always one of my favorite things, watching a man get naked for me.

  “You, um, have protection?” I was half-certain I had a condom or two in my nightstand, but I rarely brought guys home with Liam here, and I couldn’t be sure they were any good.

  “Yeah.” He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a brand-new box of condoms before he dropped the jacket onto the floor.

  “You were expecting this.” I didn’t know if that made me feel cheap, or if it just felt like he knew me that well.

  “Hoping. I don’t assume or expect anything with you, Maze. I just want you. I want to be us.”

  I grabbed the collar of his shirt and brought him down for another hard kiss. When I pulled back, I smirked. “Strip.”

  He chuckled and shifted back on the bed enjoying the view, watching as he worked the buttons on his dress shirt, slowly revealing inch after inch of skin.

  But I’d seen his chest, his back, his arms plenty this week. I wanted more.

  “I wanted to take this slow. Explore your whole body. Learn each of your tattoos. But now…” He stared at me as I unhooked my bra and let it fall by the wayside. “I just have to have you.”

  “Then get those pants off, Sean.” I shimmied my panties down off my hips and scooted higher onto the bed, dragging the condom box with me.

  He quickly stripped, grabbed a condom, and sheathed himself before he settled between my thighs. “This time’s not going to be slow.”

  “This time, huh? Are you cocky, or ambitious?”

  “Both.”

  He slipped his fingers through my wet folds. I moaned and rocked into his fingers while he stroked me, bringing my wetness out onto my clit and rubbing achingly slow and light against it. Then he brought his cock and glided his shaft against me. My pussy clenched and I groaned in frustration at the emptiness of it all.

  “Sean!” I growled, demanding everything.

  He drove his cock home and his cocky smirk faded into frowning pleasure.

  “Oh, God, Sean.” I arched up, meeting him as he bottomed out inside me.

  His fingers tangled with mine as he lifted my arms over my head, pinning my hands there as he pulled back and thrust in again. With each stroke, he rotated his hips a little, grinding against my clit as he filled me deep.

  I kissed him hard, biting his lower lip a little before thrusting my tongue against his in a needy, possessive dance that kept him close, his body pressed into mine. My cries and moans filled the room as he continued to worship my body.

  God, had he always been this good? I couldn’t remember. Of course, the closer I got to climax, the less I could remember about anything but the feel of his cock filling me so full, the taste of his lips on mine, the pressure and ache of rough, hard sex with Sean Cavanaugh.

  As he broke the kiss, our eyes met.

  I felt my pulse race a little faster as he trailed kisses along my jaw, a mixture of soft, feather light lip touches, and rough scrapes of his teeth.

  I wanted it all.

  “Sean, make me come.”

  He rocked into me roughly, rubbing against me oh so perfectly. “Let go, Maze.” His mouth claimed mine again as my pussy rippled and clenched around him.

  His mouth barely stifled the screams as I came hard.

  Sean followed me over a few thrusts later, pressing deep as his cock pulsed.

  Slowly, his kisses lightened, and he pulled back, slipping from me. “Stay right here.” He kissed me once more as he got up, walking across my room completely naked, completely on display for me, to dispose of the condom.

  I could’ve watched him walk around like that for hours.

  We never did make it to dinner. Instead, we heated up a frozen pizza and ate in bed, curled up, talking, sharing tattoo memories and life stories.

  It felt like we’d never been apart, even though there was so much to catch up on.

  Somewhere around two a.m., I fell asleep in his arms, my head nestled against his chest, listening to the soft thump of his heartbeat.

  At first, I thought the voice was just a part of my dream.

  But as I slowly woke up, I realized I was alone in bed. The sound of someone talking drifting through the open bedroom door.

  Sean.

  I got up and pulled on an old, oversized t-shirt from some concert a hundred years ago, just enough to cover my naked body and make me feel a little more secure walking around the apartment.

  “What do you mean, we got a gig? I thought the tour was on hold until after the holidays?”

  I paused in the doorway.

  “Okay. Yeah, I can be on a plane on the thirtieth. No, there’s nothin
g keeping me here. But I can’t just leave my grandpa.”

  Sean was leaving. Again.

  I knew it would happen; there was no way a man like him stayed around Jubilee Falls. His dreams were too big, his life too hectic, for a small town like this.

  That part didn’t hurt. Not really. At least not as much as the fact that there was nothing keeping him here.

  Even after everything, after last night, after meeting Liam… He didn’t feel like he had any reason to stick around.

  Would he even say goodbye?

  I couldn’t listen to anymore. I headed back to my room and crawled back onto the bed, trying to refocus on what was important.

  I needed to shower, go pick up Liam, and then I needed to wrap my head around the hours of tattooing that Sean’s piece would take. If he even wanted it anymore.

  Luckily, as soon as I donned those gloves and picked up my machine, I’d get lost in the ink, in the sharp, precise lines, and the flow of the piece.

  I wouldn’t be able to dwell on the fact that Sean and I had just had the best sex of my life, and he was days away from just walking out of my life all over again.

  A moment later, Sean came back into the room, that slow, easy smile of his spreading over his face. “Oh, you’re awake.”

  “We’ve got a big day.” I got up and tapped him on the shoulder as I headed for the bathroom. “I figure we’ve got at least five or six hours, if you can take it.” I knew I was goading him, that he’d probably sit as long as I was willing to work on him, rather than tapping out, but I couldn’t help myself.

  “Then we’d better get you all cleaned up and ready for the day.”

  Liam had sat in the shop with me before when I had a big tattoo. He knew how to sit and be quiet, how to entertain himself.

  Not that Sean gave him that chance.

  I couldn’t decide which was worse; the fact that they were bonding, or the fact that Liam didn’t know, and wouldn’t know that Sean was his father.

  I couldn’t bear the idea of letting him know; not when Sean already had one foot out the door again.

  Still, it was everything I’d never let myself imagine could happen—my son and his father, talking, laughing. A real family.

  Almost.

  “I’m going to take a break. Sean, feel free to stay here, or get up, walk around, stretch some.” I gestured at Liam. “Come on, kiddo, let’s walk down the street, get you a drink.”

  “Can I come too?” Sean got up, stretching his arms over his head.

  “It’d be better if you keep your shirt off. I can bring you something. We’re just heading to The Daily Grind.” I let my eyes drop down to his bare chest, and then dragged them back up to his eyes. “What can we get you?”

  I took down his coffee order and wrapped my arm around Liam’s shoulders as we walked down the street.

  “Mom?”

  “Yeah, kid?”

  “I like Sean. Is he going to stick around a while?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know, honey. He’s got a life away from here.” I squeezed his shoulder. “But even if he doesn’t, he has family here. He might be back.”

  Liam frowned. “Okay.”

  I sighed. I wanted Sean to stay around too, or at least have plans to come back.

  But I already knew that he was going to leave. And I doubted he’d be back for much more than my tattoo machine, if even that.

  I didn’t see Sean much more after we finished our first session.

  And by the time the morning of the thirtieth came and went, I was pretty damn sure it was the last I was going to see of him.

  “Come on, Maisie. I need a wing-woman for New Year’s Eve. And you have that killer gold dress that makes you look like a firework in the right light. It’s one night out. And I already know you’re not doing anything.” Kate was my best friend, and the one woman who could talk me into just about anything.

  “I don’t know, Kate. I feel like I’ve had more than enough excitement for the year. Besides, with Sean gone, someone should be around for Mr. Cavanaugh.”

  “Are we going to talk about Sean any time soon? You haven’t said two words about him, even though the buzz around town was he came home.”

  I sighed, mentally kicking myself for saying anything at all. “It doesn’t matter. He’s back to being one of the Heroes to the Moon, and if he comes back at all, it’s just going to be for my ink. Not for anything else.”

  “Maisie Turner, I have known you practically since we were in diapers. You’ve given me every drop of ink on my skin. You can’t make me believe that him being back in town didn’t affect you. Talk to me.”

  “Fine, but we’re going to need something heavier than coffee for this conversation.” I got up and found a bottle of tequila on the top shelf above the fridge. “He’s Liam’s dad. And now he knows that he’s got a kid, and he still had no trouble walking away. Walking out of my life all over again.” I poured her a shot, and then took a swig straight from the bottle. “I’m not going to let him break my heart again.” Even though it was already breaking.

  “I knew it. Liam’s such a little mini-Sean!” She grinned and took her shot, shaking her head at the burn. “Why didn’t you ever just admit it? Tell him?”

  “Why would I tell him he had a kid, when he clearly had… has bigger dreams than Jubilee Falls? I’m not going to be a weight around his neck. I’m not going to drag his star down.”

  Kate poured another shot and passed the bottle back. “Maybe Sean left again, because he didn’t feel like you wanted him to stay.”

  I flopped back against the couch and rolled my eyes. “He left. And he’ll just keep leaving again.”

  Kate shook her head at me. “You can be prickly all you want, Maisie. And you can push him away, but it takes two to be in a relationship, and if you really want more with him, you could pick up the phone too.”

  I took another swig from the bottle, staring down the hall. “What if he doesn’t want me, Kate?”

  “What if he does?”

  “You forget, I was there for the entirety of your relationship. I would give anything to have a man look at me the way Sean looked at you. I know he’s not perfect. But he is the father of your son. And I would bet anything he still loves you.”

  Before I could say anything else, I heard the clatter of Liam’s key in the front door, and then the chatter of him with my older brother, Sam.

  “Hi, Mom! Aunt Kate!” Liam launched himself at her.

  “Why don’t you take Sam to the New Year’s party? If you think I look good in formal wear, you should see Sam in a tux.” I grinned and nodded enthusiastically at my friend.

  Over Liam’s head, she mouthed, “Over my dead body!”

  We chatted a little while longer, but I couldn’t get Sean out of my head.

  How could I reach out to him, talk to him, when he would just walk away over and over again?

  7

  Sean

  My grandfather was sitting up, eating when I entered his hospital room. He looked a little better than the last couple of times I’d seen him.

  “You could’ve told me, you know?” I sat down in the chair next to his bed, turning it to face him.

  He put his spoon down. “I always thought you’d come back for her. I knew you loved her.”

  “I’m a real asshole, huh?”

  He sighed. “You didn’t have it easy, kid. Getting out of here was good for you. But you gave up a lot. And I knew you thought you were doing the right thing. I was angry at you. I was angry at her. But the one who suffered the most was Liam. He deserved to have both parents.”

  I crammed my hands into my hair and stared down at the floor. “I have to go. We have a gig. It’s an important one.”

  “Then go.”

  “You haven’t told me anything about your condition. Are you dying?”

  “I’m old, probably. Cancer is chewing me up. I’m trying to fight it. But they’re talking about hospice after the new year. I don’t know. Just tryin
g to recover from the damn surgery right now.”

  “Do you need anything?”

  “I wouldn’t mind you making that girl happy. She’s one hell of a woman, and if I were forty years younger, you’d have competition. And Liam is a great kid. He’s smart. Not good at being idle, like both of his parents.”

  “I should stay here,” I grumbled.

  “You should, but you’ve got to figure that out for yourself. And I know you’ve got commitments elsewhere too.” He spooned a bite of fruit cocktail into his mouth and made a sour face. “Maybe sneak me in a proper meal from the Bumblebee before you head out of town.”

  I chuckled. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  I didn’t want to leave, but I couldn’t stay. Everything felt fucked to hell.

  “I’ve missed you,” I said.

  “I’ve never doubted your love for me, son. You’re a good man. I just need you to know that too.”

  “Dude, what’s up with you?” Cory stopped tuning his bass and stared at me with a scowl. “You’re not even trying.”

  Part of me wished I could blame it on the new ink, on pressure from my guitar strap. But that was a minor irritant compared to everything pounding through my head.

  I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Maisie’s hands on me. Or her lips. Or her whole body, pressed against mine.

  More than that, I missed Liam. The kid was great. She’d done a bang-up job raising our kid. I’d missed so much. And here I was missing more.

  Not to mention, my grandfather. I’d waited too long to visit with him. I hadn’t called enough. I was afraid to watch him die. I was terrified of the disappointment he had to have for me. I didn’t know how to make anything right.

  So, I left, but I never came back here either.

  “I guess my head’s not really into it today.” I set my guitar down and shook my head. “You ever think about giving this all up? Settling down, having a family?”

  “Your head really isn’t in it, if you’re thinking about quitting.” Cory shook his head. “Dude, you don’t have to give it up. You want a chick, there’s thousands of screaming women waiting just through those doors, who would be more than happy to play house.”